POINTED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION
Earlier in the day, I met up with her in New York City to watch her train at a fencing studio in Manhattan. Her feet thunder towards her sparring partner Luther with the hopes of intimidating him. She tricks Luther to move forward by twirling her sabre around in a tease. She responds by crossing over to his other side and striking him with a winning blow.
She and I broke our fast later in the day at the Islamic Society of Central Jersey. The mosque there promoted our arrival there by advertising the community that we were going to fence each other inside the mosque. Over 200 people showed up to watch me get destroyed.
We both talked massive trash with each other leading up to the fight and after I lost, I asked her where she gets her strong sense of competition from.
“I’m very competitive by nature,” she said. “Like if we were playing checkers right now, I’d probably try to kill you in that too.
“Now that I can beat you in,” I replied back, pondering if I should load up the checkers app on my smartphone and let her know what’s up.
“Ok fine, I’ll probably lose, but I’m super competitive,” she replied. “Even when my sister and I are walking up the stairs from the train, we’ll race up the stairs. I can’t help it.”
Her competitive spirit also comes from her parents. Her father Eugene, a retired cop, said he and his wife pushed all their kids into playing sports.
“It occupies their time and doesn’t leave their time for idle stuff,” he said. “We figured between the homework and being involved in sports, they wouldn’t be involved in other activities that leave down a negative road.”
Ibtihaj trains full time as a fencer. Several fencing committees provide her grants to travel the world and compete in tournaments. The United States will only choose two women to represent them next year at the 2012 Olympics and she stands a good chance in making the cut. With all the attention she gets as of late, I ask her what I’ve been asking a lot of people on this trip, how she keeps herself in check.
“I never want to think too highly of myself because when you do, you’ve almost defeated yourself,” she said. “There’s nothing left for you to accomplish. If I don’t think of myself in the highest level, I know there’s still more I can attain and goals I can reach.
“You know, I am always shocked when people want my autograph or a picture with me,” she added. “But when you’re praying five times a day and keeping Allah in mind, I think it’s hard to lose yourself in the grandiose idea of stardom.”
Many of the people that came to the mosque to see her fence are young Muslim girls. They swarm her after the match asking her all sorts of questions. She said she’s embraced her public role with the hopes it can encourage young Muslim girls to excel at sports too.
By competing so intensely with some of the world’s best athletes, I asked her how she handles defeat.
“I’m never fully satisfied,” she said. “I feel like I always leave a competition upset at myself. Sometimes I come home feeling defeated even though I’ve made a final or two. I’m always critiquing myself and figuring out a way to some day (God willing) to win.”
I follow up by asking her how critiquing herself doesn’t lead to low self-esteem and insecurity.
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